Conversational Bumpkinese

Those of you who know me are already aware that I, by birthright, am fluent in bumpkinese. I was much chagrined to discover that many of my co-workers do not share my affinity for the language, (Though Justin does speak one of the Eastern dialects originating in Como, Texas.)

While analyzing the disconnect that my monoglot friends find so irksome, I realized that there are some geographical issues that are getting in the way of our becoming the true cultural "Crock Pot" that I know we can be.

I will demonstrate using a few words and phrases which, while pedestrian out here in the DTJ, continue to baffle and intrigue the non-bumpkinese.

congkreek - An amalgam of sand, cement and aggregate materials used in the construction of buildings in faraway places like Plano, McKinney and Lewisville. It is worth noting that one local resident, for a decade, referred to a popular shopping center in Plano, TX as the "Congkreek Mall." I discovered that she was actually talking about "Collin Creek Mall" and had just never realized that these two words are what language teachers call "false cognates." They sound similar but mean something different. Bumpkinese can be tricky.

ception tank - an elaborate wastewater purification system endemic to the Duct Tape Jungle. The English translation is 'septic tank'

bu-SEP-fer - a kind of conjunctive preposition that is also a contraction. It means "except" or "but." In a typical bumpkinese sentence, it would be used in this way: "Everbuddy kin go busepfer Daddy, cuz he gots kort (court)."

pa-MOO-duh-grass - Bermuda Grass

SUB-toot - An interim or replacement teacher. We didn' do nuthin' up to the skoolhouse yesterdy whatcuz we had us a subtoot.


If you are a recent transplant to the DTJ, I hope that this brief explanation will help you to build bridges of friendship with your neighbors. I will soon post a more complete version of the dictionary. Please understand that it will be a living document, as I am constantly exposed to new and different subsets of this peculiar populus.